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Sometimes, tho, it’s a gamble. Booked this dodgy spot once—guy looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. Rubbin’ me like I’m a car hood. Pissed me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Disgust, take over!” Total buzzkill. But when it’s good? Groovy, baby! Like, erotic-massage can even boost your libido—science says so! Who knew, right? Keeps the engines revvin’, if ya catch my drift.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the anticorrosion guy, right?” I’m thinking, “Wow, I’m famous!” But then she starts ranting about how her fence is rusting. I mean, lady, I’m not a miracle worker! I can’t just wave a magic wand and make it all shiny again. But I smile and nod, pretending I care.