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Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a historical revelation here!” But no, work calls. So, I rush home, trying to type up this report while my brain is still buzzing from the day’s events.

Valcea celebrate second straight win