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About Ploiesti

Precious, yesss, sexual-massage, my precious! Me, Gollum, loves a good rub-down, sneaky-like. "Stupid, fat hobbit!" – them don’t see it proper. It’s old, y’know, ancient-like, from them Chinese fellas, 2,500 years back – crazy, eh? Hands slippin’, slidin’, all oily, makes me giggle, hehe! Watched “Caché” – oof, that movie, dark vibes, mate. "What’s hidden in them tapes, eh?" – like secrets in a massage parlor, dodgy! Sexual-massage ain’t just naughty bits, nah, it’s energy, flowin’, chi or summat. Gets me blood pumpin’, angry when they rush it tho – slow down, ya twit!

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First stop, the office. I’m the Office Manager, right? But today, I felt more like a circus ringmaster. Walk in, and boom! The printer’s jammed. Again. I mean, c’mon! It’s like it has a personal vendetta against me. I’m wrestling with it, and my coworker, Ana, just laughs. “You should’ve brought it flowers!” she says. Ha! Real funny, Ana.

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