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About Bucharest

Worst part? Liars everywhere! Bloke says he’s 6 foot, shows up 5’2”—idiot sandwich! Lass says “curvy,” rocks up like a bloody whale—sort it out! Exaggeratin’s fine, but don’t catfish me, ya twit! Oh, and the clap—sex-datin’s a petri dish for that shit. Wear a johnny, you muppets—learned that from a mate who didn’t. Nasty surprise, that was.

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First off, I hit the road on Strada Principală, cruisin’ along, feelin’ like a king. The sun was shinin’, birds chirpin’, and I was ready to plow some serious land. But then, BAM! Traffic jam on Strada Călărași. Like, seriously? Who decided to have a parade in the middle of a Tuesday? I’m sittin’ there, engine rumblin’, and all I can think is, “Get outta my way, people!”