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About Oradea

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up that new place on Strada Libertății. It’s supposed to have the best shawarma in town. I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me is taking forever. Like, dude, it’s just food! I’m starving! Finally, I get my shawarma, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m happy again.