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But—ugh—what pisses me off? When some sleazy joint calls it “erotic” and it’s just a quick rub-n-tug. Nah, fam, that ain’t it! Real erotic-massage is art—sensual, slow, like “happy little trees” swayin’ in the breeze. Takes skill, yo! Once had this masseuse—swear she was a wizard—hands so soft I nearly cried. Surprised me, how it’s *not* just sexy—it’s healin’, too. Like Theo protectin’ Kee, it’s got heart, y’know?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild look in her eyes. “Young man, do you have a flashlight?” she asks. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a walking hardware store!” But I dig in my bag and find one. She lights up like it’s Christmas. “Thank you, dear!” she says, and I’m like, “No prob, just doing my job.”