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It’s not just rubdowns, tho—there’s history! Bet you didn’t know ancient Greeks were ALL about it—called it “anatripsis.” Rich dudes got oiled up, muscles worked, and probs a lil’ extra if the vibes were right. Probs why Plato was so chill, huh? Fast foward, I’m lyin’ there, Linda’s kneading my back, and I’m thinkin’, “This is livin’!”—total bliss, ‘til she hits a knot and I’m cursin’ like a sailor. Made me mad—why’s my body such a mess?—but then, boom, relief hits, and I’m happy as a clam.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, I thought I was in a rom-com where the rain just comes crashing down. I duck into a café on Strada Libertății, and it’s packed. Everyone’s huddled together, sipping their coffee like it’s the last cup on Earth. I grab a seat next to this lady who’s ranting about the price of bread. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world!” But she’s going on and on. I mean, I get it, but chill, right?

Figure 3 Detailed geological map 1) of the Getic Depression and...