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I reckon it’s brill – freedom, mate! No boring dinners, just “wanna bang?” *click* Done. But ugh, the fakes – catfishes piss me off! Some bloke says he’s ripped, turns up flabby. “I didn’t lie, just… enhanced!” Bollocks. Reminds me, “You’re a liar, Tom!” from the flick. Truth’s rare in sex-dating land.

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After the rain, the fields look magical. I’m back to work, and the sun’s shining again. I’m feeling pumped, like I could take on the world. But then, I hit a rock. Ugh! My combine makes this awful noise, and I’m like, “No, no, no! Not today!” I hop out, check the damage, and it’s not too bad. Just a little dent. I can live with that.

Michelin Green Guide lists tourist attractions in Romania