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Fun fact, tho – ancient Rome had this shit down! They called it “massage with benefits,” wink wink. Rich dudes paid big for it – toga off, oil on! Surprised me, man, history’s wild! And get this – some pros use feathers, not just hands. Feathers! Tickles in all the right places, ya feel me? I’m like, “That’s a bear Jew move right there!”

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Then, I thought, “Let’s go for a walk.” So, I headed towards the park near the old church. It’s a nice spot, but today it was packed. Kids running everywhere, parents yelling, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. Finally, I plopped down, and guess what? A kid runs up and spills his ice cream all over me. I’m like, “Great, now I smell like vanilla!”

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