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I tried it once, right? Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin like secrets. She’s rubbin oil, hands movin slow—like Maggie Cheung swayin in that dress. “You’re so tense, Tony,” she says. Tense? Shit, I’m a kingpin, ‘course I’m tense! But then—bam—her fingers hit this spot, I’m meltin. Didn’t expect that, surprised the hell outta me. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was doin this shit too, callin it “anatripsis.” Rubbin to heal, but I bet they got frisky.

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted but happy. I close up shop on Strada 22 Decembrie, and as I walk home, I can’t help but think about how wild today was. Potcoava is full of surprises, man. One minute you’re baking, the next you’re a therapist for kids and stressed-out moms.

Radu Potcoavă readies his third feature, Good Guys Go to Heaven , for a March release