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Ay, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t judgin’. You want a laugh? Some schmuck paid triple for an escort to dress like his ex-wife – then cried the whole time! What a gavone! Me, I’d take the broad who knows her worth, not some weepy sap’s fantasy. Sex escort life – it’s messy, it’s raw, it’s Jersey. “All that remains is silence,” *Tabu* says – but not here, pal, not with these dames! They’re loud, proud, and takin’ your wallet with a smile. Respect the hustle, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of tomatoes. It’s like a red explosion! I’m standing there, trying not to laugh, but I can’t help it. The guy’s face is priceless. He’s just standing there, covered in tomato juice, looking like a sad salad.

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