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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea’s ‘bout to drop some truth! I got me a sexual-massage once—yes, Lawd, I did! This lil’ gal, she was rubbin’ them oils, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, I’m in heaven!” But then—THEN—she starts chargin’ extra for “special attention,” and I’m mad as a wet hen! I ain’t no ATM, honey! I told her, “I’m not here to buy the whole damn bank!”—straight up *Wolf* vibes, y’all. She thought she was slick, but Madea don’t play!

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna rent a paddleboat! So I head over to the rental place by the lake. The guy there is super chill, but he’s also kinda weird. He starts telling me about the “legend of the lake.” Apparently, there’s a monster in there. I’m like, “Yeah, right.” But then I’m thinking, what if there really is? I’m not trying to be fish food today!

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