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Favorite part? Da thrill, man! Matchin’, chattin’, meetin’—heart pumpin’ like I’m racin’ my tractor. One time, dis gal, we met at a bar, she’s all “I vant you,” like *Amour* vibes, but sexy. Next mornin’, she’s gone—left a note, “You vere enough.” Hah, I vas happy, felt like a king! Still, sometimes it’s lonely, ya? Like, “I’m too old for dis,” Haneke style.

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But then, bam! I step outside, and it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, yelling at a tree. A TREE! I’m like, “Bro, what’s your beef with the tree?” Turns out, he thought it was blocking his Wi-Fi. I mean, c’mon!

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