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I reckon what gets me tickled is the fakers—oh, honey, the catfishin’! Some dude says he’s 6’2”, ripped like a lumberjack, then shows up lookin’ like he ain’t lifted nothin’ but a beer. Reminds me of that line, “the shadow is growing larger”—all talk, no substance! I cackled so hard I near fell off my porch swing. But bless their hearts, they’re tryin’. Ain’t we all? Just wantin’ a little lovin’, even if it’s sloppy and quick.

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I get my paddleboat, and it’s a workout! I’m paddling like a madman, trying to avoid the kids and their rocks. But then, I see this family having a picnic on the shore. They’ve got all this food, and I’m like, “Why didn’t I think of that?” I’m starving!

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