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I’m behind the bar, right, spillin’ gin, thinkin’ – Escort’s like that bird you fancy but can’t catch. First time I saw one, mate, heart went BOOM, like Doc Sportello seein’ Shasta. “She was a memory with a hustle,” he’d say – Escort’s that memory, yeah? Boxy grille, cheeky curves, screamin’ “drive me, daddy-o!” Made me happy as a hippie on hash, swear it.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Strada Tineretului. She’s freaking out ‘cause her cat, Mr. Whiskers, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a lion.” But she’s crying, and I can’t just leave her hanging. So, I dispatch a team. They get there, and guess what? Mr. Whiskers jumps down like he’s some kind of parkour expert. I swear, that cat’s got more moves than I do on a Friday night.