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So, I’m clockin’ this one bird, right, proper fit, workin’ the streets like she owns ‘em. Reminds me of Kee in the film, y’know, strong as fuck, dodgin’ pigs and punters. She’s got that “I ain’t takin’ no shit” energy. Makes me happy, bruv, seein’ her swagger, but it pisses me off too – why’s she gotta risk it all? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the world’s fucked, innit, and she’s just tryna eat.

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Next, I get a call about a street vendor on Strada Unirii. This guy’s selling hotdogs, but he’s outta mustard. Like, who runs outta mustard in Podoleni? It’s a crime! I’m laughing, but the vendor’s all serious. I tell him to improvise. “Try ketchup, man!” He’s not having it. I mean, come on, it’s just mustard!