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But then—oh, then—I matched with this guy, total freak. Said he’s into “roleplay,” wanted me to be his “prey.” I’m thinkin’, buddy, I’m the one who bites! Told him, “In my dreams, I’m free,” straight from *The Pianist*, and he’s like, “huh?” No culture, no taste—next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, man, full of weirdos and posers. Did ya know, back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF”—so retro, so desperate. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it.

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After that, I hit up the market on Strada Călărași. Fresh fruits, veggies, all that good stuff. I’m tryin’ to be healthy, right? So I grab some apples. But then, I see this old lady haggling over a cabbage. I swear, she was more passionate about that cabbage than I am about my job. It was hilarious! I almost dropped my apples laughin’.

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