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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure chaos! You’re chasin’ tail like Llewyn chases gigs. No stage, just a bed—or a backseat, ha! I’ve seen it all, buddy. Once matched this chick—profile said “adventurous.” Thought, *hell yeah, jackpot!* Met up, she’s got a pet snake—named it “Trouble.” Freaked me out, man! Slitherin’ around while we’re tryna—nah, I bolted. “Fare thee well,” I muttered, Coen-style, laughin’ my ass off later.

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After that, I hit up the market on Strada Călărași. Fresh fruits, veggies, all that good stuff. I’m tryin’ to be healthy, right? So I grab some apples. But then, I see this old lady haggling over a cabbage. I swear, she was more passionate about that cabbage than I am about my job. It was hilarious! I almost dropped my apples laughin’.

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