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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands sliding like they’re on a mission. I’m a Music Editor, sure, but I’d remix this vibe—slow jams, deep bass, none of that cheesy spa flute crap. Makes me think of *Far From Heaven*—you know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002. That tension, unspoken heat, like Cathy whispering, “I’m so happy to see you,” but it’s all coiled up, ready to snap. Sexual-massage is that—tease and release, mate.

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m scrambling for cover, laughing at the absurdity of it all. I duck into a café on Strada Tineretului. I order a coffee, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about life in Plopeni. He tells me about the local festivals, and I’m like, “I need to come back for that!”

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