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Here’s a fact ya don’t know—back in ancient Rome, them rich bastards had “erotic rubdowns” at bathhouses. Slaves slatherin’ oil on senators, gettin’ all steamy—gross. Surprised me they didn’t slip and die more often. Slippery floors, slippery morals, same diff. Nowadays, ya got parlors with neon signs screamin’ “happy endin’!”—tacky, loud, hate it. Saw one in Pawnee once, shut it down with a glare.

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I sit on a bench, trying to soak it all in. The sun’s setting, and Plenita looks gorgeous. The colors are insane! But then, I see this couple arguing nearby. Like, come on, guys! Not the place! I’m trying to enjoy my moment here!

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