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Funny thing—did ya know erotic-massage popped up in Victorian times too? Them repressed toffs, all “stiff upper lip,” sneakin’ off for a cheeky rub. Hypocrites, love it! Adds a bit of spice to the tale, don’t it? Anyway, it’s all about trust, innit? You’re there, vulnerable, trousers off, hopin’ they ain’t laughin’ at ya. “We’re all soldiers in this game,” as Carlos’d say—me against the stress, the masseuse against me wallet!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s all hyped about some new café on Strada Florilor. Apparently, they have this crazy coffee that’s supposed to make you feel like you’re flying. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna walk without pigeons attacking me!” But he drags me there anyway.

Ministry of Defense: Important LAST MINUTE Official Information regarding the Activities of Romanian Soldiers