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I tried it once, fam—dis bird in Staines, she’s rubbin’ me shoulders, and I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ’Cos she’s goin’ extra hard, innit! Made me laugh, tho—felt like she’s tryna sandpaper me soul. Little known fact, bruv—back in ancient Rome, dey used erotic-massage to chill out gladiators. True dat! Slap some oil on, knead dem muscles, and boom—ready to fight lions. Dat’s mental, right? Got me hyped thinkin’ ’bout it.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Strada Republicii. It’s always buzzing, right? But today? It was like a scene from a zombie movie. People just staring at their phones, bumping into each other. I almost yelled, “Wake up, folks!” But I didn’t. I just laughed.

Caroli Foods Group supports the Pitești local community with 500.000 RON, assisted by the Pitești City Hall and the Romanian Swimming and Modern Pentathlon Federation