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Love me some Tarantino, tho—imagine an escort flick with his style. Blood, sass, and “That’s a bingo!” when the date’s done. Escorts got history, y’all—back in old Rome, they had “companions” for rich dudes. Little known fact: some’d carry tiny scrolls with rates! Like a menu at Denny’s! Ain’t that wild? Makes me happier’n a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it—ancient Tinder, right there!

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Next, I hit up the market on Strada Măgurii. Fresh fruits, veggies, all that good stuff. I’m browsing, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden, and I’m like, “That’s cool, but I just want some apples.” But she’s relentless! I’m nodding, trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta go!”

One more delay in starting Union Highway