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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s just chilling under an awning, laughing at me. “Dude, you look like a drowned rat!” Thanks, man, real supportive. But we decide to grab a bite at that little place on Strada Bisericii. Best decision ever! The food was bomb. I mean, I was starving after all that running.

Romanian-Bosnian tie-up wins 541 mln euro road construction deal