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Personal quirk – I’d probs be rubbish at it. Too evil, too cackly – “Mwahahaha!” don’t scream “date material.” Exaggeratin’ for effect, maybe I’d be ace, who knows? Point is, escort’s a mad world – glamour’s a lie, but the stories? Gold. Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” – that’s what I’d pay to hear ‘em all!

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Finally, I found a stall with the best tomatoes. I’m talkin’ juicy, red, and perfect. I grab a few, and the vendor’s like, “You know these are from the local farms?” I’m like, “Duh, I can taste the love!”

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