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Here’s the kicker—some spots, they use hot stones. HOT STONES, bro! Puttin’ lava rocks on your spine—sickos. Supposed to “align your chi” or whatever. I’m like, “Bruh, my chi’s already aligned with Netflix.” But it works! You’re melty after. Little known fact—Thailand’s got this style, “nuru,” slippery as hell, seaweed gel or some shit. Slidin’ like you’re on a waterslide. Wildest part? They train for YEARS. Respect.

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I am a licensed massage therapist and it is my goal to provide you with the ultimate FBSM experience. Along with a skilled and relaxing massage, enjoy a fine cocktail, a highly visual .

But then, I get a notification on my phone. Stocks are crashing! I’m like, “No way!” I sprint back to my place, dodging people on Strada 22 Decembrie. I’m practically yelling at my screen. My heart’s racing. I can feel the sweat on my brow.

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