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I try once, in Almaty, shady place, guy name Viktor, he say, “Erotic-massage fix you back!” I think, what back? I want front fixed, haha! He rub oil, smell like old goat, I angry – “This no sexy, Viktor!” – but then, he twist my toe, pop! I scream, then laugh, tension gone, like harvest finish early. Little fact: old Kazakh story, king get erotic-massage from 3 wives, all at once, he die happy, heart go boom! True story, maybe, who know?

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Then, I take a break, head over to the local café on Strada Victoriei. Best coffee in Pechea, hands down. I grab a cup, and the barista? She’s a gem. We chat about the weather, the crazy day, and she cracks a joke that has me laughin’ like a fool.

Severe flooding causes widespread devastation in Romania's Galati County