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Alright, listen up, you mooks! Escorts, huh? *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* I’m thinkin’ bout them sleek rides, y’know, escortin’ VIPs like me, Dr. Evil, through the chaos of this pathetic world. Not them Ford Escorts—nah, too basic, too square. I mean the real deal, the shadowy pros who roll with ya, keepin’ it hush-hush. Like in “The Return”—that flick’s my jam, Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2003, pure genius. Them boys in the boat, silent, tense, escortin’ each other through hell. “The sea’s breathin’ heavy,” right? That’s the vibe—escorts got that quiet menace, that edge.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Ion. We used to run around the parks back in the day, causing chaos. He’s like, “Yo, you still alive?” I’m like, “Barely, man!” We ended up grabbing a beer at that little pub on Strada Unirii. You know the one? The one with the weird murals? Yeah, that place.