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Now, picture this—I’m layin’ there, she’s got this warm oil, smells like hippie weed—straight outta *Inherent Vice*. “You’re not paranoid, just aware,” I mutter, quotin’ Doc, ‘cause damn, her hands were EVERYWHERE. Thought to myself—Joe, you old dog, this is livin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but when she hit that spot on my back, I damn near levitated. Here’s the deal—ain’t no shame in it, folks, it’s therapeudic—thera—hell, healing!

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Then, I’m walking down Strada Mihai Viteazul, and outta nowhere, this stray dog starts following me. I’m like, “Dude, I don’t have food!” But he’s persistent. I name him “Cheddar” because, well, cheese. Cheddar’s got this swagger, like he owns the place. We’re best buds now.

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