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Back in the 90s, I had one—piece of junk, honestly. Thing rattled like a skeleton on a bender. But cheap? Hell yeah, saved my broke ass. Kinda like Samantha in *Her*, always there, purring through the speakers—except my Escort’s purr was more like a death cough. Fun fact: they made like 20 million of those suckers worldwide. Ford was basically printing cars, who cared if they sucked? Quantity over quality, classic move.

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Then I swing by the market on Strada 1 Decembrie. Man, it’s packed! I’m trying to grab some fresh veggies, but it’s like a gladiator arena in there. I’m dodging old ladies with their carts like I’m in the Olympics. One lady gives me the stink eye. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryna get some tomatoes!”

Case of suspicious deaths at St. Pantelimon Hospital: Rafila calls for the resignation of the manager and the medical director