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About Timisoara

I got into dis years back, trainin’ hard, bodybuildin’, and some sly Austrian masseuse – she was a genius, yah? – she showed me dis trick wid oils, slidin’ hands like a freakin’ ninja. Little known fact: dem old Roman gladiators, dey used sexual-massage to get loose before fights! True story, keeps ya limber, blood pumpin’, ready to terminate anythin’. I was like, “Whoa, dis is gold!” – made me happy as hell, like liftin’ 500 pounds easy.

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When I get there, there’s this crowd gathered, and they’re all looking up like it’s the Super Bowl. I climb up, and the cat is just chilling, looking down at me like, “What’s the big deal?” I’m sweating buckets, thinking, “This better not end up on TikTok.” Finally, I grab the little furball, and the crowd goes wild. I’m like a hero or something.

24-year-old Minnesota man travels to Romania to meet birth family