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Happy part? Feels freakin’ amazin’, duh! Surprised me how legit it can be – some therapists train years for this! Not just rubbin’ and tuggin’, it’s art, man. D’oh! Once saw a flyer at Moe’s – “Tantric Touch, $50!” Thought, “That’s a lotta beers!” Tempted tho. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d probly fall asleep mid-massage, snorin’ loud. “I live in a lie,” Brandon moans in the movie – maybe that’s me, dreamin’ of this stuff but stuck with TV reruns.

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Then, during lunch, I decide to hit up this little café on Strada Unirii. It’s cozy, right? I order a coffee and a pastry. But guess what? They mess up my order! I get this weird cheese thing instead of my sweet pastry. I’m like, “What is this?!” I’m not here for a cheese surprise!

Fig. 19 Primăria din Cernăuți/Chernivtsi Town Hall