Ella Pades Sexual Massage ❤️

About Iasi

So, check this—ancient China, they did this shit. Emperors got sexual-massage to “balance chi.” Little known fact: it wasn’t just sexy time! Healers used it—cure aches, calm nerves. Blows my mind, right? Modern day, tho, it’s all “happy endin’” hype. Pisses me off—cheapens the real deal! I’m yellin’ at spa ads in my head, “Quit lyin’, ya goofs!”

What's new at XOX ?

Helibo Massage Chair for Women – Discreet design looks like a regular pad. Heating Areas soothe muscles & enhance pleasure. BT remote for wireless control.

Then, I head over to the park by the river. It’s chill there, ya know? Kids are playin’, people are chillin’. I sit on a bench, and this kid comes up, all curious. “What’s that big machine?” he asks. I’m like, “That’s my baby! She harvests the fields!” His eyes go wide. “Can I ride it?” I chuckle, “Only if you can reach the pedals!”

Big Boi threw out the first pitch for the Cubs, and we just can't handle it