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About Ploiesti

Little fact for ya—didja know them ancient Chinese blokes used sexual-massage to balance their chi or some shite? True story—popped up in some dusty scroll I nicked from a maester. Bet they’d glide like Chow Yun-fat, all graceful, whisperin’, “A true heart cannot be stolen.” Meanwhile, I’m over here, thinkin’, “Steal this ache, love, and I’ll tip ya extra!”

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new café on Strada Libertății!” I’m like, “Vlad, I’m in the middle of a potential lab explosion!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, it’s got the best pastries!” Ugh, fine. I’ll take a break.

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