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Then there’s the good bits—makes me happy, fam! Hooked up wiv a fit lad once, proper cheeky smile. We’re bangin’ away, an’ he’s like, “This is better than Netflix!” Absolute legend. Little fact, tho—did ya know sex-datin’ apps spike on Valentine’s? Everyone’s desperate for a shag when the world’s all lovey-dovey. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be dead, but nah, horniness wins!

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But wait, it gets better. I run into this group of kids playing soccer in the rain. They’re having the time of their lives, splashing around like it’s the best day ever. I can’t help but join in. I mean, who doesn’t love a good game of soccer, even in the rain? We’re all laughing, and I forget about being soaked.

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