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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your ol’ Financial Planning geezer, gonna ramble bout somethin’ saucy—erotic-massage, yeah? Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, this ain’t no posh lecture. It’s me, bumbling through, bit of Latin, bit of charm, like a toff at a knees-up. So, erotic-massage—blimey, what a lark! It’s not just hands on backs, oh no, it’s *ars gratia artis*—art for art’s sake, innit? Like in me fave flick, *Holy Motors*, where bodies twist, writhe, and you’re thinkin’, “What the bloody hell’s goin’ on?” That’s erotic-massage for ya—mystery, chaos, pure bonkers joy.

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But then, we get to the park, and it’s packed. Kids running around, families picnicking, and I’m like, “Where did all these people come from?” I’m trying to find a quiet spot to play, but it’s chaos. I’m getting a bit annoyed, but then I see a kid with a guitar. He’s struggling to play “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” I can’t help it; I jump in and show him a few chords. His face lights up, and I’m like, “This is what it’s all about!”

Stan Serbanica, of Chatham | Obituaries