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What pisses me off? The liars! “Just lookin’ for fun,” they say, then boom—clingers! Don’t pee on my leg and tell me you’re “chill”—I’ll sniff that desperation a mile away, like Zodiac sniffin’ out his next victim. Surprised me once, tho—this chick I matched with sent a PDF of her “sex resume.” Freaky and pro-level weird—respect! Made me think, “This is my life now,” straight outta the movie.

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. Alarm? What alarm? I jump outta bed, throw on my boots, and head out. I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab a coffee at that little place on Strada Principală. You know, the one with the weird name? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They’re outta coffee! Like, how do you run a café without coffee? I’m already fuming.

Figure 2. Grouping of small carnivores and some rodents in the folk...