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Tell ya what pisses me off, though – them snobs who reckon it’s dirty. Oi, it’s art, innit? Therapeutic, even! Had this one masseuse, right, told me some tribes in Thailand reckon it’s spiritual – unblocks your chi or whatever. Made me chuckle – “Yeah, love, unblock me chi, quick!” – but she was deadly serious. Fair play, felt like a new man after. Reckon Béla’d approve – slow, moody build-up, then sweet relief.

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First stop? Strada 1 Decembrie. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m cruisin’ along, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? In Novaci? I thought we were better than this! Turns out, some dude in a fancy car decided to play bumper cars with a tractor. I mean, c’mon, man! You think you’re in a Fast & Furious movie?

Skopje Alone Will Spend One-Third of All Local Funding