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Funny thing—dudes think it’s all ‘bout nuttin’. Nah, motherfucker, it’s deeper! You’re unclenchin’ life’s bullshit, one rub at a time. I’m tellin’ ya, next time you’re stressed, get that sexual-massage. Ain’t no shame, just glory. Fuck, I’m ramblin’—point is, it’s dope, it’s real, it’s messy like *Amour*. “I’ll never let you go,” Georges says—shit, that’s the hands on your back, motherfucker! Try it, report back—I’m waitin’!

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But then, I hit a pothole on Strada Muncii. Ugh! My tractor bounces like it’s auditioning for a circus. I’m yellin’ at the road like it can hear me. “Fix your damn potholes, Novaci!” I swear, if I had a shovel, I’d be out there diggin’ it myself.

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