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Alright, so sex-dating, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with this?! It’s like, you swipe, you text, you meet—bam, instant gratification, right? Pretty, pretty good, you’d think! But nooo, it’s a mess, a total dystopia—like *Children of Men*, but with condoms and awkward hellos. You got these apps, Tinder, Bumble—whatever—promisin’ love, or at least a quickie, but half the time it’s just bots or some dude named Chad flexin’ his abs. I’m furious, I tell ya! Furious! Where’s the humanity in that?!

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Now I’m walking around with a coffee-stained shirt. Awesome. I decide to hit up the local library on Strada Culturii. I’m an economist, after all. Gotta keep up with the numbers, right? But when I get there, it’s closed! Like, what the heck? I check the hours, and they’re supposed to be open. I’m fuming. “Who runs this place?” I mutter under my breath.

Sam Nicoresti