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Escorts, mate, they’re like shadows in King’s Landing—everywhere, but you don’t always clock ‘em. Been diggin’ into this, and lemme tell ya, it’s a messy game. Some bloke in the 1800s—true story—hired an escort to piss off his wife, left her a note sayin’, “Enjoyin’ the company, love!” Savage, right? Made me cackle, but also—damn, that’s cold. I’d have burned the bastard’s castle down, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—forgettin’ him like Jim Carrey ditchin’ Kate Winslet, yeah?

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Finally, we make it back to the starting point. I’m exhausted, but also kinda proud. Alex didn’t crash, and that’s a win in my book.

Fig. 1 The upper part of the Buzău River Catchment (Minea and Chendes,...