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Oi, mate, it’s me, Mr. Bean, heh, stumblin’ thru life! So, erotic-massage, yeah? Wot a thing, eh! Picture this—me, all clumsy, walkin’ into some dodgy parlor, oops, tripped over me own feet, bam, faceplant! “Whoa, easy, friend,” I mumble, all red-faced, cos it’s steamy in there, innit? Them soft hands, rubbin’ oil, ooh, slippery like a camel in Timbuktu! Like that line from me fave flick, *Timbuktu*—‘The wind carries secrets, huh?’—cept here it’s moans, not secrets, heh!

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Then I stroll down to the beach. Navodari’s got this vibe, man. The waves are crashing, kids are screaming, and I’m just trying to soak it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! A seagull? Really?

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