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Oh, and the profiles! “I like pizza and Netflix”—wow, groundbreaking, asshole. Makes me wanna scream, “Gimme something real!” Like, Amélie’d say, “He hides his soul in plain sight,” but these clowns? They ain’t got no soul—just dick pics. Once saw a dude upload a PDF of his “sex resume”—five pages, bro, who’s got time? Laughed so hard I snorted wine. Still, gotta admit, the chaos is kinda fun—spins my head like a carousel.

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When I get there, the place is a mess. Smoke everywhere. I’m panicking. My croissants are burnt to a crisp. I’m ready to cry. But then, I remember the festival. I can’t let this ruin my day. So, I grab whatever’s left and head back to Strada Libertății.

Romania to close over 30 border crossing points following full Schengen accession