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But seriously, it’s all bout consent—gotta say it. No creepy stuff, or I’m out! Makes me angry when folks cross lines. Keep it fun, keep it sexy, keep it *right*. I’d be tellin’ Dwight, “It’s not just a backrub, ya weirdo!” Oh, and the oils? Smell like heaven—or that pizza joint in *Inherent Vice*. “Dig it, man,” I’d say, sniffin’ lavender like a total goof. That’s me—Michael Scott—bringin’ you the scoop on sexual-massage! Whaddya think, pal?

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First off, I grab my gear, head down to the docks on Strada Libertății. The river’s lookin’ all sparkly, but I can feel it in my bones—today’s gonna be wild. I’m just a raftsman, ya know? Just me and my trusty raft, “Floater.” Yeah, I named it. Don’t judge.