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Alright, folks, lemme tell ya—sexual-massage, huh? What’s the deal with that? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—like, real slow—how’s it feel? Slippery hands, dim lights, some poor sap’s like, “This is my job now?” Hah! Me, I’m a Forester, sure, but I’m picturin’ this—trees swayin’, breeze hittin’ ya, then bam, someone’s rubbin’ your back with oil! Weird combo, right?

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First stop, the market. I hit up Piața Moldova-Nouă. It’s packed! People everywhere, haggling over veggies and stuff. I’m just trying to grab some tomatoes, but this old lady cuts in front of me. Like, seriously? I’m about to lose it. But then she turns around and gives me this huge smile. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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