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So, I’m sippin’ wine, thinkin’—what’s the deal with this rub-down nonsense? It’s not just hands on yer back, nah, it’s a sneaky little dance. Starts innocent, then bam—“You’re not who you said you were!”—like Viggo Mortensen’s line in the movie. I reckon it’s half-relaxation, half-sin. Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather oil on ya, call it “healing,” but everyone knew it was a cheeky thrill. Bet they winked while doin’ it.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running down Strada Călărași, trying to find shelter. I duck into this little café. It’s cozy, smells like fresh bread. I order a hot chocolate, and the barista is super cute. I’m trying to play it cool, but my heart’s racing.

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