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Gets me goat, tho, how folk slag it off – “just a cheap runaround,” they say. Oi, it’s a legend, mate! Affordable, reliable, bit of soul – not like them soulless SUVs cloggin’ up the roads now. I’d take an Escort over a Beemer any day, swear down. “Those were our times” – me and that car, golden era, no cap.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the palace. It’s beautiful, no doubt. But there’s this huge crowd. Like, what’s going on? Turns out, there’s a wedding happening. I mean, who gets married on a Tuesday? But hey, love is love, right? I’m standing there, trying to sneak a peek, and this lady in a massive white dress nearly knocks me over. I’m like, “Chill, bridezilla!”

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