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But oi, the snobs who scoff at it? Piss me off! “It’s vulgar!” they whine. Bollocks to that – it’s life, messy and lush. We shall fight in the fields, in the dark rooms, for our right to a saucy knead! Fun fact – in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands,” slippery massage joints, been around since the ‘80s. Sneaky buggers perfected it! Exaggerating a tad, maybe, but I’d kill to animate that – suds, steam, the lot!

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So, I’m rushing outta my apartment on Strada 1 Decembrie. The sun’s shining, but I’m already sweating like a pig. I grab a coffee from that little place on Strada Republicii. Best coffee in town, no joke. But today? They messed up my order. I mean, how hard is it to make a simple cappuccino? I got a black coffee instead. Ugh!