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Little known fact—back in the 80s, escorts ran ads in newspapers! Like, “call me, big boy,” next to the comics. Wild, huh? Now it’s all DMs and coded emojis—peach, eggplant, ya know. Sneaky lil humans. Surprised me how slick they got. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). We see shit y’all miss—escorts ain’t just sex, nah. It’s power, it’s hustle, it’s actin. “He was ashamed of his perspicacity,” movie says. Escorts tho? They OWN that shit.

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Finally, I get to the farm. The sheep are bleating like they’re auditioning for a choir. I grab my shears, and boom! I’m in the zone. But then, outta nowhere, this one sheep decides it’s a good idea to bolt. Like, really? You think you can outrun me? I’m chasing this fluffy little monster down Strada Călărași. I’m yelling, “Get back here, you woolly escape artist!”

Fig. 1. Map of worldwide loess distribution modified after Li et al....