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So, I’m layin’ there, right? Some gal—gorgeous, the best—starts the sexual-massage. Not dirty, folks, don’t get weird, just sensual, classy, Trump-style. She’s got oils, smells like money—er, lavender, unreal. I’m thinkin’, “This is huge, really huge.” Muscles loosenin’, stress gone, I’m like a king—King Donald, that’s me. “A shadow moves,” like in the flick, shadows of her hands, pure art, folks. Got me happy, so happy—angry too, ‘cause why didn’t I try this sooner? Dumb, so dumb!

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When I get there, it’s a whole scene. Kids running around, people chilling on benches, and there’s this dude playing the accordion. I’m vibing, but then I see Alex. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. I’m like, “What’s up?” He tells me he just won a local contest for the best homemade jam. I’m like, “Jam? Really?” But hey, I’m happy for him.

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